Sadness, relief, melancholy, happiness; and again, sorrow. These are the mixed emotions that I usually feel every time I reach the end of something I do, follow or be.
Today I’m feeling all of that over again, so I’m happy, but at the same time sad. I’m writing you from my last day of my Chia vacation, here in Sardinia, while looking at the gorgeous beaches surrounded by nothing more than beauty, it’s hard, very hard to say farewell to that. But is in days like these that I have to try my best to enjoy the journey, every little moment of today might be missed ‘cause of my stupid misery to think about the near future: what would happen tomorrow? Would I make it to the ferryboat back home? Would I miss it? Would I reach land? Would I still be alive and not dying from a sinking old boat or by a meteorite hitting Earth? These seems way too out of line of thoughts, but that’s what my mind does, I told you before, I am a messed up of a man.
In any way I should at least try, try to set my mind free from this obstructive ideas, and I’m actually figuring out that writing this piece isn’t helping at all. Let’s try to unfold my emotions then, so that the problem of my sadness could be analyzed and hopefully fixed. I’m sad, sad of leaving a place I’ve been living for nearly three weeks, three weeks are a lot, I just settled here, and suddenly I’ve got to leave? Leave for then re-settle elsewhere? Why? What’s the point of doing that now? Give me a break changing future!
I’m a creature of habits, I love going to bed after sunset and waking up before sunrise, and I do a sort of ritual every night that my sister would laugh and joke around about it, so change is always difficult for me, I don’t know where my life is going to be leading me tomorrow, and I’m hell scared the out of it! Of course I’m gonna be back at my birthplace, uploading and sorting gigabytes and gigabytes of photos captured during these three weeks from my lovely 27” iMac, and why not, also from my past south-Asian trip I recently took, but what then? I’m sure I’ll figure something out to do, like I always did, but not knowing it NOW, makes me frightened.
Hymn To The Sand
Oh pure beaches,
dwarf pebbles made out of shells,
you’ll be missed.
like the ocean’s missing land
waiting for a comeback
a waving rejoin to ground.
Change alone doesn’t make me sad, there’s also lots of melancholy going on today. All of the memories I’ve been shared and created with three awesome people, people that made this trip a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable, yes, indeed, you settled in one of the happiest place of my mind as long as I’ll remember, and I’ll always be thankful for that.
Now the happier part, I don’t want to make you all the way down, let’s conclude by boosting our moods up a bit, the last few paragraphs were very gloomy. Luckily, the other side of my mind thinks that a journey is good, no matter where this will lead me to, or what the cruising vehicle would be, a conveyance is always a great way to change things for the better.
I LOVE taking airplanes (even though that’s not the case), trains, boats, even driving a cheap bad looking car, as long as that would made me hop on a long journey. The loving part I think is the unpredictability of what a whatever the crossing would be. Getting out there and look at things differently, that always fascinated me.
On an airplane you’ve got to see earth from a different perspective; on a ground mean of transport streets and roads and landscapes you never thought would existed; and on a boat cruising water, incredible horizons filled with one of a kind sunrises and sunsets, with why not, a greet from some dolphins on the way. I can’t stop telling you that I love it, I love it so much, so let me go now, my mind is on a-bit-of-a-hurry, but first a last dip into the sea, to make this, a day to be sealed in one of my glorious memories.